In a Hell Loop?

Am I on earth?
Because I don’t feel like it is.
The misery will consume me,
A hell loop I can never escape

What’s the point of being nice?
Someone will say some mean shit
Try and save all your niceties
Because I have seen all your toxicity
And no, I don’t wanna think about it
I have got things to do
Aims of my own

But was it ever a smooth ride?
Guess I need to stop overthinking
But that would mean losing a part of me
My dreams are too big, I know
Some of them unrealistic,
Every year, I cut off something from the list

Am I cursed for having an open mind?
In a narrow and shabby place
But I love the place too

How can I hate where I grew up?
I have not given up my values
But I think differently
More inclusivity in this society
Wouldn’t harm

Is this all a hoax?
Equality doesn’t exist
Above all, resentment in my heart
For people around me
Or maybe, me

God!!!!
Peace is just a word
The world is too brutal
To let me be me.

— Apoorva Jindal

P. S. I should be studying since I have exams but clearly I cannot stop writing. Too many thoughts that are all coming at the wrong hour.

📷 via Google