I was completely lost in college. I felt like being placed in purgatory.
I just despised it so much.
Mostly because it wasn’t what I wanted. My dreams didn’t align with the place I was in. I strongly feel that after school I should have taken some other subject.
I felt lonely among the people who surrounded me. There was no genuine connection like there was in school. No one seemed to listen to me and whenever I spoke, it just never seemed like anyone understood me. I was misplaced. I couldn’t talk to anyone openly and that never happened in school amongst people where understanding was always mutual. And nothing can change how terrible I felt at times. Each day was annoying. I don’t like engineering, don’t like coding don’t like college. I liked nothing about engineering. But somehow as I am reaching the end, that saying, that what doesn’t happens with your will happens with God’s will seem to have become true, partially at the least.
Would like to mention no hate for college, my college friends and classmates or teachers or anything or anyone. It was an inner turmoil I didn’t know how to deal with. I am still learning to be in a subject and place that’s not for me.
However, one thing I learned is to keep on trying and you do end up finding more than one road.
P.S. TS made me write a lot of sad (sad girl summer was real) stuff (Evermore) and that made me feel good. Also, it’s clear but I wrote this months back. I don’t even remember but decided to not publish it until I was over this inner turmoil (didn’t realise there will be new ones waiting to replace it).

I am a freelance content writer. You can contact me via email at apoorva.jindal.99@gmail.com.

8 thoughts on “Purgatory

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